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It’s the junipers’ fault, this week of my discontent.
A random sneeze or two first, then a honking fusillade. The head grew heavy, the throat uncomfortably liquid. By last Tuesday I was miserable and then, the physical became mental.
In this terrible mood, I passed on President Obama’s uplifting “State of the Economy” address in favor of more suffering. Yes, I read Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal’s GOP response line-by-line.
It was painful until I conjured up the spirit of the late, great Molly Ivins, the syndicated columnist from Texas who always found humor where I am prone to anger.
Take Jindal’s straight-faced admonition against burdening the kids with debt. This, after the Bush Administration spent eight years razing — consciously razing — an inherited surplus!
This, after eight years of building mountains – yea, Everests – of IOUs!
That makes me furious, but Molly, her tongue firmly in cheek, might have prayed, “Hallelujah, they’ve seen the light.”
I bristled, too, when the GOP’s great Asian-American hope stood tall against wasteful spending. This, after they threw away billions, almost all borrowed from the Chinese and the grandkids.
Not Molly — she would credit the GOP with fiscal responsibility for hiding trillions in Iraq war dollars somewhere off budget. “After all, what you cannot find it doesn’t count, right?”
Meanwhile, the GOP’s Jindal preached the virtues of small government. He really did.
Molly might have written, “Now, to be fair, Republicans also privatized. You remember those nifty deals with Halliburton, KBR and Blackwater. And if the companies reciprocated, what’s so wrong?”
Back in Santa Fe, meanwhile, events conspired to remind us the parties aren’t that different. Sen. Dede Feldman’s bill requiring drug companies to reveal gifts to our doctors (a Hawaiian cruise, maybe, or a seminar in Switzerland) lost big, 24-16, despite support from the state Medical Society.
Guess who was opposed? Tim Jennings, the leading Senate Democrat. Also, Republican Sen. Clinton Harden, who was insulted by the implication that “a doctor can be bought for 100 bucks.”
Probably Molly would guffaw and write nothing. Why gild the lily? Bipartisan kowtowing to Big Pharma is perfect.
(For more on corporate government, see David Cay Johnston’s 2008 “Free Lunch”. Vanguard funds founder John Bogle also recommends it.)
Back to Louisiana Bobby, who told us “The strength of America is not found in our government.”
“So true,” Molly might say, thinking about the failures in Iraq, Katrina and the economy. “Particularly when the folks in charge see Washington as a golden goose. But credit the Shrub for taking incompetence to new heights.”
Give Jindal credit for temerity; with Dick Cheney only weeks out of power, the Louisiana governor called for “ethical and transparent” government.
Here not even Molly Ivins can make me smile.
The vice president promoted our Iraq misadventure, a stealth, imperial executive and torture — and we don’t know why. “Dark Vader” is epithet, not explanation.
Paranoia? Maybe, but that is a label, too.
The record shows Cheney was fixated on Iraq and dismissive of terrorists until 9/11. Did he feel great guilt when he failed to protect the country? Might enabling torture help him avoid facing himself? We probably will require a great novelist to explain Cheney to us.
And we may never roll back the executive power he seized.
The juniper is relenting now. Time to stop accentuating the negative. Allergy-free, I must face the world’s Jindals without Molly’s help.
Yes, I can.
