In reading the journals he left behind, Desiree Woodland learned that her young adult son, Ryan, felt he might have fared better had he been born 100 years earlier, living on a farm. In the two years since Ryan’s suicide, the Albuquerque schoolteacher has dedicated countless hours helping create a therapeutic residential farm in New Mexico where those who suffer mental illness, as Ryan did, might find respite and learn the skills needed to cope.

 

The idea for the farm actually originated seven years ago with another Albuquerque mother, Charlotte Back, whose adult son had benefited from a stay at Gould Farm in Massachusetts, a nearly century-old residential treatment facility that serves as a kind of template for what could be created in New Mexico.

 

An all-volunteer board, of which Woodland and Back are members, has accomplished much in guiding the New Mexico project, called Casas de Vida Nueva ("new life homes"), over the last few years: They have a business plan, architectural renderings, a treatment plan, a Web site and a pledge of nearly 20 acres south of Belen on which to put the farm.

 

What they need now is money, and Woodland and the other board members are "contacting people left and right," Woodland told NMI. "We need a million dollars before we can get the first phase done. None of us are professional fund-raisers. (Most) are parents with children who have mental illness. . ."

 

To raise money, Woodland has organized a walk team for Saturday’s NAMI NM Walk around Albuquerque Academy and is looking for more contributors and walkers. The New Mexico farm project started with a $10,000 grant from NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness).

 

They approached the Legislature for funding in the last session but the effort "wasn’t strong enough," Back told NMI. She said the project has, however, been listed as a "priority" on the Behavioral Health Collaborative list that includes Valencia County, which is the first step in being considered for state funding.

 

Sen. Dede Feldman, D-Albuquerque, said she would take up the women’s cause during the 2009 60-day legislative session.

 

"Next year, I hope to help them put in a bill for funding," Sen. Feldman told NMI.

 

The farm will benefit the county and the town of Belen, Back added, because the first building on site will be a clinic open for public appointments, in addition to serving the residents at the farm. Currently, Back said, there is only one psychiatrist — a child psychiatrist — between Socorro and Albuquerque, so those who need treatment must travel to the state’s largest city.

 

The Belen site "is a wonderful location and we’re really happy (about it)," Back added. Belen is basically in the center of the state, accessible to all communities, she said.

 

While working to raise money for the farm, Woodland also is trying to raise awareness about mental illness. She wrote a moving, personal story, "What the Stigma of Mental Illness Looks Like," that was included in a recent letter to constituents by Sen. Dede Feldman, D-Albuquerque.

I didn’t know that asking someone with severe depression to just get over it, get on with life, deal with it, was like asking someone with cancer to heal themselves. It was like leaving someone bleeding on the side of the street without calling an ambulance. …

 

After my son’s diagnosis two years ago of possible schizophrenia/delusional disorder, I still didn’t know. I thought that Ryan could just take a pill and somehow miraculously return to us as the full human being he had been before.

 

Woodland told NMI she got involved in the local chapter of NAMI as soon as Ryan was diagnosed, taking part in family-to-family classes. "This illness steals from you all the things you were," she told NMI, and despite her feeling that Ryan received good care, it was not enough to keep him from deciding to end his life, nine months after the diagnosis, two years ago this week.

Ryan would have benefited so much from the opportunity to live on the farm, learning to live with mental illness, and maybe also learning how to rediscover his potential.

Woodland said one of the frustrations of fundraising is that many worthwhile causes and groups, most notably in research, are competing for the same funds, and that philanthropic organizations are already stretched. She said she understands that the search for cures is critical, but "in the meantime, where do these people live?"

The farm will offer fresh air, open space and natural beauty. The therapeutic environment will enable people to focus on recovery through psychiatric services, forming community, and building practical skills through meaningful work on the farm.

The mission of the farm includes sustainability — buildings will be energy efficient and residents will grow their own food using permaculture practices.

"If we get that million," Woodland said, the group hopes to have the farm started by 2010. "We receive emails periodically from people interested (in the farm’s services). It makes me so sad to write back that we’re still in the developmental stage."

In the media, we often hear only the stories of people with mental illness who commit violence. The reality is that the percentage of persons with a mental illness who commit violence is no greater than those without it.

"I keep thinking there’s somebody out there who can be a philanthropist and really get us going, get us off the ground."